Different Hats

posted on: 4.14.2013


This is me in my most comfortable state. Wearing my mom hat. Early morning, we're all in our pj's still- in all honestly it very well could have been noon. I have no makeup on, wearing my glasses still, chipped polish, snuggling my little man. 

Rewind back to last weekend. A dream opportunity for me, and a blast of a trip! I had a manicure, woke up by my own alarm, ate my breakfast first, showered and was ready (like full-on:) every day. I had creative and inspiring conversation with other adults who share the same talents and interests as I. Saw my talents and hard work come to life. Freshened up in the evenings, before wonderful dinners out  with friends. It took maybe a half a day, but the mom hat came off easily, and the professional/creative hat went on. 

I missed my kids like crazy though. I heard Tate had been pretty sad about me leaving, and the knife in my heart twisted deeper:) Mom guilt was on full mode. Although, I keep it in perspective. I don't leave my kids that often, and I'm a believer that it's necessary and healthy to do so. That guilt always finds its way in somehow though. I digress. 

On Monday morning, when I did get home, and later that day as I was getting settled I had a very hard time switching hats. It continued for several days. I was so distracted, and I couldn't shut my brain off about everything that was "that trip". I try not to be too hard on myself, as I know it was a big deal for me to have this opportunity, so being amped about it was to be expected. But, I do wish I had some sort of secret of how to bounce back quicker from job to mom. Anyone out there have any tricks? I'd love some advice! Or, just deal with it? :) This is all new to me.

xo, yours truly

10 comments:

  1. Oh boy, that's a loaded question. How to switch hats gracefully is a tough one. I'm still working on it myself. For me I go in phases - sometimes the design work needs to be or is more at the forefront of my mind and then it takes a backseat to other things in my life. Our kids are always important to us and you are a great mother - but you are being a great example to your children by taking care of yourself and continuing to develop your talents. It's great and healthy and my motto is always "all things in moderation" and you seem to have a great balance! Just wear both hats!! You can do it :)

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    1. Haha, it is a loaded question, isn't it? It's the perfectionist in me. Desperately wanting to find a solution that works out just right. All things in moderation is a good thing to remember. Thanks for that! I'll be taking notes from you in this area as well:)

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  2. Chelsea, I think EVERY mom who works struggles with this!!! It's one thing that scares me the most about someday becoming a mom. How am I going to juggle both?? Or more importantly.. how am I going to feel OK with juggling both?

    I can tell you are an amazing mom, and you are an amazing blogger/J&R member and you will continue to be great at both!! I am sooo happy you are a part of J&R, I had such a great time with you in SF!! Here's the to future!

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    1. I think you nailed it! How do you feel OKAY juggling both? I'm determined to work through it patiently though, because both jobs are so fulfilling and inspiring! And likewise Bryn about SF... I truly am missing our late night laughing;) xo

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  3. I struggled with this for a good year after becoming a stay-at-home Mom. My scientist hat was SLOW to come off...maybe because I had a death grip on it...holding it on...trying to maintain an identity, the only one I had ever had for almost a decade. The days were long because my mind would be drifting off to cancer research while I was waiting for a bottle to heat up...standing in front of the microwave in PJs and no make up and dirty hair. My hats were so opposite that I felt incomplete without them both. Time took care of that problem. Now, I have my Mom hat on...with no turning back. It's a complicated journey. Yours is more complicated in that you are switching back and forth...and not completely leaving one behind. I think your issue is what our husbands go through when we ask them to turn off their work brain and turn on their Daddy brain when they come through the front door after a long day of work. Maybe..ask Wyatt.

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    1. Really good point, about Wyatt. I wonder if this is how he feels. If so, he seems to be handling it better:) Thanks for your insight.

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  4. I literally deal with this every single day. Every day! Since the day I went back after Knox was born. Dropping him off at other people's houses in 20 degree weather when he was still a newborn at 5am was the hardest thing. BUT... I have learned to leave work at work and leave home at home. That said... you have to trust and be happy with whoever the kids are at home with, so you CAN leave home at home. Otherwise, we're only human and we can only give 100%. So... give 100% to work while you're "at" work (for you might mean the trip, or just while you're in "the office" once Wyatt gets home or on weekends), and give 100% to the kids whlie you're with them. That means a lot of times I'll have to come home an hour or two later than I could have just because I want to finish work while AT work instead of bringing it home with me. But it makes my time with him so much more valuable and stress-free. So, so cool about all that you're getting to do right now. Any insight for my sister wanting to go into fashion from the nursing world? She is amazing at it and I wish she had an opportunity for it in the way you've found this opportunity with interior design!! And p.s. the working mom's heart tug never ever goes away or gets easier. Time makes the transition a little better, that's all.

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  5. i remember when i was working, i was constantly struggling. feeling like i was missing something, or not doing it right. i look at women like caitlin wilson and think, she's got it. she's doing it all. but nobody is perfect. you are obviously talented, chels, and you should pursue your passions. your kids will be in school before you know it (gasp) and you'll have so much time to devote to yourself. for me, it was too much. like this time before school goes by too quick, and i didn't want to miss it. but i know i want a life outside of motherhood so i still feel like i'm just outside of the thick of it which is ok for me. when i'm ready...i'll pounce. just do what feels right for you. i'm sure you're being wayy too hard on yourself. love you. xx

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    1. Thanks Kera! I agree, the time goes by so so quick! I do worry about the twins being so little still, and that's why I feel so grateful that most of the work is all from home. For the most part, I can put them all to bed, fire up the laptop and get to work:) That's why the trip made me feel such guilt- it was that "out of the house work" that hits hard. I really enjoy being a stay at home mom, and like to consider myself one. I want that and will be that as long as my kids are home. Luckily Joy & Revelry knows where I stand with that and they couldn't be more supportive. It's amazing how many opportunities the internet opens up for moms looking to help support their family & also stay home. I feel really lucky! xo

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  6. oh how i wish i knew what to tell you, because that would mean i had figured it out myself. most days are spent just trying to keep all the balls in the air. some days they fall, but the world keeps on spinning. i find that prioritizing early in the day helps tremendously and the days i am "working from home", i usually just have to tell my kids 1,000 times how much i love them and hope they don't remember me as always on my laptop or phone, when they give my eulogy. in time you will find what works for you. the absolutely wonderful news is that you LOVE both of your jobs. i can only imagine that makes a huge impact. you will find a balance and your kids will never doubt for a moment how much you love them. as they get older, they will appreciate that you found something professionally that you are passionate about and makes you happy. they will admire it. good luck. as with all you do, i am certain you will find a way to manage it with a healthy dose of grace. xo.

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