A flower on my pillow

posted on: 6.12.2012


This weekend was a particularly hard one for us. It was also a sweet one for me as a mother. Tuck was hospitalized, again, for various things. It came on the morning after a hard night for me as I had stayed up until 4am working on a project. I was exhausted, and although the early morning played out as usual, he started going downhill fast and by 3pm we were at the trauma center at Detroit Children's Hospital. I had hoped to take Tate to her school party that evening... one that she was especially looking forward to. It would've been a nice, fun night for us all. Tuck needed me more though, so I sent Tate and Finn to the party with my sister. 
A few nights prior to this Tate had included in her prayers, "please bless the boys that they won't get sick so much so we can do more fun things". She's so thoughtful, but it broke my heart- for the boys & for her. The pace of her summer so far has not lived up to summer's in the past, and I hate that.
I wanted so badly to see her excitement at the party and watch her run around like a mad woman with all her friends. Lately, it's never Tate's activity that takes first priority, and I know it frustrates her.
On Friday night I went back home, while Wyatt stayed to sleep with him. I got home after the kids were in bed, and I was so exhausted. I was going on second day hair + makeup, and 4 hours of sleep. I was sad... for Tuck, for my other kids, for Wyatt having to sleep there. I was frustrated that there weren't any answers. I felt beat. 
I went upstairs to wash up, and change into fresh clothes hoping that would at least make me smell better. When I walked into my room I saw something on my pillow. It was a small wildflower. I knew immediately who left it there. 
Tate.
I couldn't take her to her party, I couldn't even tuck her in that night. But she thought to pick me a flower and leave it for me on my pillow. She is one of a kind, that Tate.

(Tuck is now out of the hospital and doing much better, thank goodness) 

13 comments:

  1. Tears for you. This breaks my heart. Please remember what a great mommy you are. You are one of the best I know which is why Tate leaves you flowers on your bed. She adores you because you have always adored her. You are doing a great job. So glad Brooke is there to help on days like this. That poor sweet Tuck baby. Bless his heart and bless yours for having to balance and worry and sacrifice so much. Love you Chels. Praying extra for you and yours tonight. xoxo

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  2. That may well be the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I'm a little overwhelmed with emotion right now...I wish I could be there love on you all. I know I say this all the time, but you're really my hero. You handle everything with such grace. love you all!

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  3. I don't know you.

    Your family is beautiful.

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  4. it's this overhwelming feelings of guilt that we feel as mothers that just isn't fair. Tate sounds amazing and thoughtful and sweet and kind and nice...those kinds of "people" are down on earth for a specal reason, to lift up others when they need it most. I have one of those kinds of "people" living in my hous it's humbling to witness.
    i'm so sorry for your hard times, you will be in my prayers aslo...

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  5. such a sweet girl that tate is. kids are more resilient then we give them credit for. prayers for you chels and your sweet fam.

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  6. I have been reading your blog for about a year now. I'm not sure how I came upon it, but I'm always so excited for a new post. You're family is beautiful and your stories about Tate always blow me away. Such a gorgeous girl far beyond her years. This made my heart melt, you're the luckiest mama around!

    So glad to hear that Tuck is doing better!

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  7. oh man Chelsea. a rough week indeed. pulled in different directions with no sleep and a babe in the hospital to boot... hoping your next weeks are healthy and fun... the summertime kind! and that Tate... so so so sweet.

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  8. oh chelsea.... i am so sorry to hear about tuck. : ( i know just what you mean about tate's activities not being first priority. ezra is going through the same dethronement, but somehow i think if your tuck weren't dealing with health issues, you'd be super mommy to all three of your babes. i hope for you to have a lot of patience, peace, and forgiveness with yourself. you are amazing. tate knows it and i'm sure your little ones do too in their own sweet little baby loving way. praying for tuck. xox anushka

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  9. You are your family are amazing, Chels. Many prayers for all of you. Thinking of you.

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  10. Oh I hope Tuck is okay. I don't want to pry but do you mind sharing with us what his health issues are? I have a special needs baby too and it is sometimes nice to know what others are going through. My baby has a congenital heart defect and has had open heart surgery already (she is 6 months old).

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  11. @ Anonymous (above). Thanks for opening up about your daughter, it is nice to hear from other parents of special needs kids. I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's surgery- I can't imagine at such a young age. Poor thing.

    I'm not ready yet, or more, I just can't keep up with it, on my blog to post about Tuck's issues, but I'd be happy to email you back if you have any questions. I try to be as open as I can on my blog, but we're still figuring things out with Tuck and for now I'd like to keep that private, for the most part.

    I hope your daughter is doing well!
    -Chelsea

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  12. Oh Chels, I read this and I just feel so helpless that I am not there to take Tate and Finn for you at these times. Please know if we were close, I would be there in a second. What a blessing that Tate is! She really is such a peace maker in your home. I just adore her and wish she would shine her example on my kids. I am sorry for all you are going through. We will keep Tuck in our prayers.

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  13. My daughter is doing as well as can be expected. She will have 2 more open hear surgeries in the next year and even then her life expectancy is not good without a transplant. She is a true gift to us though as her little spirit shines through, she is so brave and sweet.

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