I'm sorry I've been such a lame mom lately. I'm so sorry that I can't be the one to take you around town to see all that you've missed about Salt Lake. Go on lunch dates, ride bikes, visit the park, the zoo, the bounce house, the museum.... like we talked about, and like we used to. I'm sorry that each day you spend half, and sometimes more, of the day with someone other than me, because of my bed rest. I absolutely hate it. I'm so so sorry that my doctor told me I can't hold you anymore. I'm sorry I'm not the one making you lunch and dinner. I'm sorry you've had to sleep in 6 different bedrooms in your short life already, and ride on 33 (well now, 35) airplanes. I'm so sorry we just moved back to Salt Lake and will have to leave again just as you're getting used to it, again. I'm sorry that our chaotic life has made you feel confused recently, and every time me or daddy leaves you ask if we'll be coming back, and tell us repeatedly how much you'll miss us. I try to tell you all the time we would never ever leave you, but something is still making you doubt that. I so sorry about that.
I'm sorry I missed your tee-ball game tonight. I was just too tired, and had been on my feet all day trying to get the house ready. I'm so sorry. I will try so hard to never miss another one.
I hope when you're twenty you have great memories of these years, and don't remember this crazy phase. I never intended it to be this way, the bed rest that is, and hope you will always feel how much I love spending my day with you, because just telling you isn't enough. I hope you know I miss you the whole time you're gone. I, unfortunately, now know how overrated having a babysitter every day is. I'm so lucky that I get to stay home with you. I don't know how I managed to get such a loving, helpful, understanding, forgiving, and sweet daughter.
I love you. Sorry again.