up late...

posted on: 7.10.2009

This is a norm for me lately... to be on the computer into the wee hours of the night. I'm having a hard time wanting to go to sleep. Not that I have endless energy, but I don't feel relaxed either... anxiety I guess it is.
We're moving out of our house this weekend. As I type this I'm sitting on our lonely couch amongst a pile of packed boxes & a giant mound of packing paper. Most of our stuff is packed, and I'm feeling the void. That "stuff" is what made this house ours- cozy and comfortable and home. The house seems empty right now, so lonely and lifeless. It makes me sad to sleep here like this, but yet I'm not ready to leave either.
I know I'm being a huge sap about this all, but I can't help it. I have a very strong attachment to this house. I LOVE (in all caps) this house. It has been so good to me, and holds a lot of my happiest memories so far.
I packed up Tate's room yesterday, thankfully alone, because I bawled the entire time. I knew this would be the hardest part for me, but it's been even harder than I thought. With each picture I took down, and each doll or pillow I packed away in a box, I was reminded of how it would live in this box for the next 2 years, and not with us. It felt as if I was literally packing up all our best memories! It also reminded me how fast my little Tate is growing up, because when we get back and we get to unpack those boxes she probably won't want those things in her room anymore. I feel like by packing those things up, I'm having to say goodbye to those baby memories I love so much, and which I'm really not ready to let go of yet. Her nursery was the most magical room. It was just as I imagined my little girls room to feel like. It was my favorite room to be in, and I think she felt the same way about it. I don't want to leave that room behind.
I know that our new house will soon become our home too, but I'm just not ready to say goodbye to this one yet. It's been too good.

11 comments:

  1. moving is so hard, chels. it's true that we grow attached to the stuff, even though we know it's just stuff.

    i've felt that way every time we've moved, and then, after all is said & done, it's always exciting to be somewhere new with a whole new pallate to make your own. it's always turned out for the better. hopefully that helps you a bit.

    love you.

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  2. I've written about 3 comments and they were all too lame to publish. Let's just say that I totally understand how you feel. I'd be exactly the same way. Change can be so bittersweet.

    And, I won't even get into how sad I am to be "losing" my friend . . . we'll save that for another, less sappy Annie day.

    Just love you.

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  3. Chels I don't have any noble words to say..but just know we're thinking about you and we're all so sad to see you leave that house..and mainly to see you leave in general. It's definitely a good thing, and we're so excited for you but we'll miss you guys dearly.

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  4. I'd like to be able to write some deep, helpful words to make this transition easier, but I'm crying already just reading your post! Just know that wherever you and your little family are...that will be home. We love you!

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  5. this made me teary eyed just reading it. i can't imagine how hard it must be to leave that house of yours. it would not be easy for me. and it's going to suck saying goodbye to you guys! i'm dreading that day! i guess all you can do is look forward to the memories you'll be making in the next 2 years. there are going to be enough to last you a lifetime i'm sure!

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  6. Is it too late to call the whole thing off :) Deep sigh. I get that I'll have to get out of my denial soon enough...
    Bug and I both bawled our eyes out together walking through our first house together for the first time. I know how you feel.

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  7. hey cutie... oh I totally know how you feel. It is by far the hardest thing ever. I have moved so many times in my life and it never gets any easier. But I promise you that it is so fun to have a variety of memories in different places! you will love every minute of it and you'll love your new home :). School life will be so fun for you- cherish every minute... for these will be the most fun years!!

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  8. Chelsea,
    I too am crying reading this.
    Remember, it was the love that you and Wyatt put into that room that made it magical. The things you packed were just props, not memories. The memories you carry with you to Dominica where you'll use new props to form new memories. That's the beauty in memories, they go with you. Your family is the magic!

    Love you lots and am thinking of you three a lot. Miss you tons already.
    Heath

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  9. I know how you feel- you said it exactly how I felt! Don't worry- I miss the happiness of our home- but it is amazing how soon here feels like home because my little family is here :) see you soon!

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  10. I guess I'm lucky to be glad to leave the apartment I'm in the process of packing up/selling off. I don't love it here and I fully expect to enjoy the tropics, so that should be good. I also fully expect to enjoy being friends with you. I'm Julianne and my blog(s) are: http://herestosilly.blogspot.com and http://letsplayitbyear.blogspot.com. The first is just me, the second is about our family and our adventures. See you soon!

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  11. So bitter sweet!! I feel for you and I completely understand how it feels to pack up all your things knowing that you might not use them again. You will be soo missed!! Just remember to take lots of pictures. It somehow helps keep the memories "real". Good luck with all the final details!

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