happy, right now.

I drove down the 75 this afternoon biting my nails furiously. I was running late, although that's not why I was anxious. I had Tuck's bag packed for a stay. We were headed to see a Neurosurgeon at the hospital. Tuck was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus right before Christmas.

Since moving to Michigan four months ago Tuck has become the patient to a Cardiologist, Pulmonologist, Gastroenterologist, Geneticist, Physical Therapist, Speech Pathologist, and now Neurosurgeon. There has yet to be a week here where we haven't needed to go see one of them.

He's a tricky one to figure out, that Tuck. He's keeping the doctors on their toes. Syndrome is the word they keep using, although no one's sure which one. He keeps me very busy, and Wyatt too worried. We're still in the thick of the storm, trying to get diagnoses for a couple different issues, trying to manage the endless appointments, but today the storm lifted just a bit.

Like I said, I had bags packed. Bottles for the rest of the day, pj's just in case, my book. The other kids had babysitters. As I drove I thought about the possible things I might hear from the doctor. Shunt was the word I really didn't want to hear. Then I thought about the weather, and how the snow on the side of the freeway was ombre looking. Probably because my mind didn't want to scare itself before it knew for sure, and the weather was safe.

The doctor put me at ease right from the get go. He was super casual. And quick too. He already knew everything about Tuck's history, so we didn't have to go over the usual rundown. That was really nice. I appreciated that. We looked over Tuck's MRI and he showed me pictures of normal brain fluid, compared to Tuck's brain fluid. Tuck has more than normal, but not an alarmingly amount more. Good news. Tuck, he thinks, only borderline has hydrocephalus and at this point, doesn't need a shunt. More good news! In fact, it's the first good news about Tuck's health that I've heard since living here. I was grinning ear to ear.

After the doctor left the room, and before I strapped Tuck back in his car seat, I squeezed him, and rocked him, and loved on him. I hoped he could feel the good news too.

I drove home with the stereo blaring, and just felt really happy for him. Later tonight I happily unpacked his bag.

celebrating 5 with 5 chefs

Because the weather wasn't cooperating, Tate's second choice (to a sledding party) was a baking party. 

We invited five of her girlfriends over for an afternoon of baking... and eating, of course.

I set the table for five little chefs, re-using a lot of what we already had. Baby food jars for jam take homes,  bright rubber spatula's as a centerpiece, glass milk bottles from leftover starbucks frapps, cutting boards and pyrex dishes as decoration. Anyway, turns out a baking party is perfect because all the themed decorations you could ever want are in your kitchen.

After getting some ideas here, we decided on a chocolate dipped strawberry station, homemade jam station, and cookie decorating station.

All were a hit, and the girls especially like mashing up all the strawberries for the jam.

                       (I accidentally set my camera to "scene" and not a good one, because from here out, all the pictures are grainy.... argh!)

Anna, Olivia, Gabi, Tate, and Avery. These five were a hoot to watch interact.

Laughing and giggling about anything, admiring their disposable aprons, commenting on how they saw real cute aprons at TJ Maxx the other day... "oh, my mom goes there", one said after.

It was hilarious. Tate is so lucky to have such fun little friends.

Mashing up the strawberries. We used this recipe. It seemed the simplest. 

It turned out delicious!

She blew out her candle... there was some awkward silence, and then Wyatt and I laughed about how they might still need some parent interaction encouraging them what's next:)

The day ended with the tired chefs throwing off their hats & aprons and lettin' loose!

These two, oh boy.

milestones

There have been some major milestones round these parts in the last couple weeks. 

 Mr. Finn is sitting. Rocking on all fours. And cut two teeth- the bottom two. He's blowin up people!

 Tuck man finally got the umph to roll. He's still got to wind up to get going, which is highly entertaining to watch.

Both boys are babbling, mostly saying dadadada and yayaya. My new favorite- leaving them in one crib together to play and listening to them babble, fight, and coo from the other room. In following with their funny personalities, Tuck is usually just gazing into Finn's eyes curiously, while Finn smiles, flails his hands in Tuck's face, then pulls a fast one on him and steals his binky. I let it happen because I know this will be the only time Finn will be able to dominate him. As soon as Tuck man gets mobile... watch out!

Also, off subject, I made these last night and they were divine. Easy and healthy. We all enjoyed a couple. Try them!

king luther

I melt for this little one. I feel like I say it all the time, and I feel like a broken record. But I don't want to forget this sweetness of hers. You know, in case she decides to steal & crash my car one day.

We had a rough morning. The kind where she asks for one too many treats before lunch, the kind where I'm having to say no to far too many things. And let's just be honest, I was totally annoyed. I said to her, as I was doing her hair, "we're having a rough morning aren't we? We aren't getting along too well". 

Tate, in the most sincere, concerned voice says to me, 

"but mom, we have to get along. that's what king luther taught us".

 King Who? I say

"Marthin Luther King mom. Well, Marthin Luther King Jr."

"He said we need to get along with everybody".

You're so right Tate. Thanks for reminding me.

... go ahead and laugh

This was today.

On my counter this evening, my notepad read this:

- take out frozen soup to thaw
- hang picture in boys room
-organize nightstand
-make + freeze cupcakes for party
-meal plan for next week
-email renters
-email babysitters
-apply party labels to treat boxes

Wow. good job chels. tons accomplished.

"That looks like throwup!", was Tate's reaction to dinner. Oh thanks honey, that's lovely.

And

I found this gem on my camera.

Fabulous. I'm zonked out on the couch in the early morning and my 5 year old is awake. Parent asleep, child awake. I'll pat myself on the back for that one. 

kicks and thigh highs

Thigh highs. Short squishy dimpled legs. But somehow Tuck makes this look so adorable.

Oh, I could eat this little man up.

one whole hand.

today you are 5. five!

today you are like magic. i want to freeze you forever.

today you are overwhelmingly sweet. i love that most about you.

today you are 40 pounds and getting taller quick.

today you love german oven pancakes most.

today you prefer sad, funny, or gross stories only. you say the others are boring.

today you are growing your hair out, and it's just past your shoulders. you like it in braids.

today you like anything by shel silverstein.

today you wake at 7 and always start the day with an episode of fresh beat band.

today you finally like being a girl.

today you adore your brothers, and are a better big sister than i ever thought a little girl could be.

today you are silly. those hips of yours can sure move, and you have perfected your english accent.

today you are always aware.

today you say cunchtable, for comfortable, and it's the best thing ever.

today you are polite and very caring.

today you don't want help in or out of the car.

today you can pour your own drink.

today you like to play family, candy land, chutes & ladders, and memory.

today you are less shy to strangers and extremely chatty at home.

today you still snuggle your blank.

today you brush your own teeth, your own hair, and tie your shoes.

today you love to draw streets and towns.

today you can sing most adele songs.

today you are easy to smile, and give love freely.

today you are sounding out your words.

today you still love to help me in the kitchen. i hope that never ends.

today you are forgiving and oddly patient.

today your favorite are jeans and a tee shirt.

today you are tough, a fast runner, and very flexible.

today you have a sensitive heart. you don't like to be the center of attention, it makes you nervous.

today you still put an f before the words remember, remind, and relax and i don't want to correct you.

today you still can't sit through an entire movie.

today you like having your tummy tickled at bedtime, and a song sung to you.

today you are competitive and love a good contest. mostly if you win.

today you get hot easily and spend most nights shirtless.

today you are growing out of playing cars.

today you wear a necklace each day, and one spray of kid perfume.

today you tell me you love me, daddy, the boys, AND yourself... and that makes me so happy.

today you are one whole hand! Happy Birthday sweet Taters!!!!!!!!!!!!

 (I feel like I think I should when I like, turn 60 or something. Her life is over.  yep. It's all downhill from here, and I don't want to talk or think about it.) But really, I can't even talk about it.